The following article, by me, was printed in the Houghton Lake Resorter weekly newspaper in Houghton Lake, Michigan..The “byline” as shown above was chosen for me by the editor of the paper, Bob Hamp. I must admit, I didn’t know what a “byline” was at that time. (But now, I do.)
In case you may have kept a copy of this article, I have edited a few things which I deemed to look better before presenting it for your perusal at this time. After all, it has been 55 years since it was written and I tend to look at things differently now. (I know you’ll understand.)
…..continuing the article
How many “therefores” can you handle at one time?
To sum it up, each of us is guilty of harboring “I know better” feelings which emerge annually on the “first” day of January of any given year.
Never feel guilty about those memories being immediately forgotten on the “second” day of January; the same year.
For instance, “I know better” than to let the ironing pile up week after week while stashing the clothes I like to iron least in a lonely basket behind the door.
You’ll realize the problem when the unfavored basket overwhelms the operation of the door, the guilt becomes evident.
“Therefore” I resolve to keep my ironing up to date; including the items I don’t prefer to deal with..
“I know better” than to chide my friends in far off places for not being regular in their correspondence with me. To be honest, I am equally as irregular with mine.
“Therefore“, I resolve to keep all my correspondence up to date.
“I know better” than to continue driving our car without refilling the gas tank. Come to think of it, my husband has often mentioned he doesn’t care to run out of gas on his way to work in the morning. (He doesn’t say it quite that way, but you get the picture.)
“Therefore” I resolve to keep the gas tank filled at all times.
“I know better” than to let my bank statements pile up in a drawer until my checkbook balance requires a notice of service charge from the bank for overdrawing my account.
“Therefore” I resolve to balance my bank statements promptly upon their arrival.
You’ll feel better when you have successfully written down your “therefore” list, you may feel properly girded for the onslaught of uncharted days and months ahead in 1965.
Rules help to protect your reputation.
Let me give you a word of warning.
Mention to no one that your list exists. Here is my advice.
Immediately upon completion, place it in an envelope, seal it, and promptly convert it to ashes and smoke.
Your ironing will continue to accumulate, your correspondence friends will think of you warmly at Christmas time, your husband will get good exercise, the bank will feel you accept and respect their bookkeeping procedures and your conscience will be free to glide into 1965 in friendly and familiar surroundings.
2019 AND CONTINUING….
They say “confession” is good for the soul.
It’s been a long time since I’ve made a New Year’s resolution.
Please don’t think ill of me. I learned years ago that such an endeavor was a complete waste of my time.
Thank heaven for permanent press clothing
that needs no ironing.
May God bless my Grandma!
I remember the days when my grandma took my clothes needing ironing and sprinkled them with water. Then she rolled them up, put them in the freezer, told me they were there and that I could iron them later. (That was a mistake.)
I did, however, learn something that may be of use to you. If sprinkled clothes are stored in the freezer for two weeks or more, they will be surprisingly damp when you thaw them. If the time is more than a week or two your clothes may have to be sprinkled again. (Grandma never approved of that outcome and I’m not recommending it to you.)
The computer is your friend.
Thank heaven, (and time), for the invention of the computer and emails.
With my computer’s help, I am now able to respond within minutes to correspondence from my friends. Why didn’t someone think of this before?
Complaints Complaints Complaints!
I try to fill the gas tank as soon as I see the little space that emerges after “full”. The price of gas has reached an unthinkable $2.38 per gallon. So if you fill the tank before you use much, it’s cheaper. (Does that sound right to you?)
Although I’ve asked the bank to send me printed statements at the end of the month, I also have my bank records on the computer.
Read this if you’ve passed up the rest.
This is the most important part. I leave the mailed statements unopened in a drawer.
There is always the possibility of being without electricity for the computer, which would restrain me from checking my balance. In such an event, the unopened and printed statements in the drawer would be a blessing.
I DO NOT RECOMMEND NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS!
If you still feel the need to put resolutions in writing, this is my advice. Use a sealed, unmarked envelope.
As a last resort..
Destroy it as quickly as possible on New Year’s day.
FIRE IS STILL THE MOST RELIABLE SOLUTION!
If fire is not your thing, the sealed envelope may also be thrown in the garbage. But, hear this!
There is always the possibility that someone could find it at the dump.
GIVE THIS SOME SERIOUS THOUGHT!
(It’s already nearing the end of the year…May 2020 be your best year ever!))